i miss you!

yes! definitely. i miss you. i miss you like hell. too bad i could not tell this straight to your face. not even by texting you a simple message. im hurt deep inside. and it is much hurt me to know im faking myself. hard to explain. hard to describe. hard to forgive. hard to forget. everything is spinning, working like a washing machine tub that full with dirty clothes. im in a mess. u betrayed me. u betrayed my big treasure. u betrayed the trustworthy which i used to uphold until the moment u i-cant-say. where all the promises gone? where all the vow kept? u caused this biggggg sadness. i couldn't bear. i couldn't accept. i couldn't even imagine how big the mistake was. should i blame myself? who else. yes. im easy to be fooled. just like u had fooled me few times before and maybe few times after. thank you. u told me im the princess, im your precious. the fact is im a toy. u played me around. when the time comes, u'll kick on my ass and throw me away in the big green bin. simple. i kept my ego on the peak. i tried hardly. and i managed. at the same time, i killed myself softly inside. im weaken and getting weaker. from now and then, will u still be u? idk. i kept the distance between us. this boundary will keep us apart. i fake my smile and hardly keep it sweet so no one will know how im crying inside. to whom it may concern, i LOVE you a lot. if my mouth no longer able to speak this 3 little word again, no worries because i've carved yours in my heart.

mind working.

lotsa things on my mind. n of course, CUTI. dis coming cuti, im gonna b a 21 years-old woman. it was like OH-M-GEE! rasa tuaaa. betapa mama take a gud care of me since im jz a cell, till i become this gemuk. sigh. i love u ma! u've being such a wonderful to us. oh mcm mahu menangisssss. teehee. oh ya. pasal bday. it reminds me of our last year celebration. its a full-blast! it was my first time to have my bday celebration with the cuzzies n frens. faliq make a come to miri. coincidentally syah sd n a-one also there. affy, my bestest buddy, thx for the plan n impromptu babe! lovelovelove! hee. all of the cuzzies, also lotsa thx n love. too many to mention here. how its goin to b dis year? will see how. hoping my bestest uncle will b in miri. so we'll have like triple blast n fun. hoho yeahhh~

sing sing. clap clap. :P

double cake. double fat. -_-"

tuwenti. sigh.

sayam kamu faliq. haha.

oh ya! bob's table, the AF talent is jz next to us. a celeb celebrating my big day? ouhhh~

lomoku sayang!

mummy posted it last week. its almost a year i didn't take any picture using my green litos. dis is due to the expiration of my desire to snap any moment bcz of certain reason. no need to tell here. :P. i was planned to capture my memorable pre-grad dinner using this green since i am longing to see my own artwork (not so art actually). but, unfortunately, there is no battery inserted. ok. tinggalkan jak d rumah since my clucth only afford my phone, ic, money, license n bank card. kecik gell. haha. berkorek jak wallet tek. the next morn, my lame attempt using my fren pun wall clock batt. check the flash, xda api. ok, myb batt ya weak. try another batt. haihh, x mok juak. ok, let it be. jalan jalan pg mkn roti canai. kenyang. balit hostel. tdo. then i awake. borrow my roomate pun cmra batt. but she said not sure if the batt still a 'batt'. xpa. try jak. pun xpat. haihhhhhh. jump into my conclusion: ROSAK. -___-'. most probably bcz a year being jeruk in my bag. tahahaha. so rindu to see the result after the roll developed. xpa xpa. actually the roll pun dah 1 year x tuka. so might get it to cina, develope it, n see the result, ancient. bahahaha.

syg nya i didn keep any copy from my 'late' litos' art. how i wish to see it again. tsk2.

approaching the end

as the clock tick tocking,
as the heart beating,
we are towards the ending.

this is the final,
this is for real,
diploma, we are almost done.

weeeeee. loike loike! after almost 3 years gambling my life for a better future. its been a volatile life along this duration. i learnt much. i settled much. i spent much, on money for sure *evil laugh HAHA. there will be no up without down. kan kan. hee. here, i obtain many experience. from lover, fren(s), admire (adakah?? haha), books, money, till the smallest n unseen things. lot. i mean lot! i fall in love, i fall into love, fall like waterfall, fall in the toilet, learnt what a real frens like, learnt investment, economic (harus lah kan!) nang macam macam. hahaha. all the moment that captured, will be keep in my memory (i'll try). thousand tonnes of thanks for my lect n frens for keep me on track. for those who's hardly tring to ruin me, also thanks. bcz i learn ur dumbness, stupidity, silly, arrogant, which brought u no where. i accept ur done, gud or bad in my most appreciation. to beloved frens, will always keep u guys in my heart. sooner or later, we'll separate. but we wont end up till here. do keep touching touching. hee. till the next post. (will try to post some pics next time. i lend my external to my fren. teeehee)

xoxo